Jacquelyn of All Trades

J.A.T... that needs to be my new nickname.

I am a zookeeper. I've been keeping an eye on a nest full of five baby sparrows, but thankfully none have fallen out yet. I have a barn full of twelve horses, and thankfully, none of THEM either are out... yet. And now, I have a baby blue bird sitting on my bed in a brand new critter keeper.

My boss walked into the barn earlier. "Hey Jenn... remember how you said you've rescued birds before?"

Ho boy. I laughed and grabbed up a towel. I'm guessing this bird is at least 10 days old and got too adventurous for his nest. Even though I replaced him twice, little Suicide hopped right back out the other side, only to fall on his beak. He's not too sure about the mealworms yet, so we'll be trying a little cat food soon.

I am also a stall scrubber. Think about what horses can do against a stall wall that leaves stains... yeah, no more on that.

I am she-who-rigs-pliers-on-a-rope, and girl-who-finds-lost-gallon-of-bleach.

Yife, what a day. We're supposed to get a lot of rain soon (Thank you, God!). We need it so very badly; the pastures are starting to get crunchy.

Catching Up...

Lots of information in this post, so here's an apology in advance.

Last Friday, I got the chance to go watch the USHJA International Hunter Derby at Georgia International Hunter Park. This is where the equestrian teams for the 1996 Atlanta Olympics rode and competed. Pictures are posted above. The Derby was made to replicate what a hunter horse would encounter in the field; water, fences, gates, etc. The jumps were 3'6" to 4' tall, and there was a $25,000 purse at stake for the winner.

I've been schooling the ponies a lot lately, and the trainers know that I'm more than happy to come have a "chat" with them should they be misbehaving for the smaller children. Penfield decided to start slinging his head around and scaring the very tiny girl on him, so I (a not so tiny girl) hopped on and rode him out. I made the trainer promise me I'd never have to ride that tiny saddle ever again if possible :)

The property was unexpectedly left in my sole care for a few days as my boss and her husband had to take care of life events, so I had an unusual experience with a quiet barn and all the horses buddying up to me. They know that I'm the gravy train now, and the horses in the paddock right by my house greet me with neighs when I walk out in the morning to feed. Yeah, I see where your hearts are... I'm free to ride pretty much who I want and when I want; it's a freedom I'm not used to and I am thoroughly enjoying it.

Tuesday turned into a day of exploration for me. I've ridden David a few times, but only at the walk and trot since I'm still working on steering him properly. I watch his owner ride him a lot, and after schooling a dressage test, she came up to me and told me it was my turn. Well aware that I'd never ridden as advanced a test before, nor even cantered or asked much of this horse before, I gave it a whirl. David is a lot of horse to hold together and "package". Being a dressage horse, I have much more control of his shoulders and hind end than I do on a jumper. I have to constantly control his shoulders and forward motion, flex his neck, steer, encourage forward, cue, etc. That's a lot to keep track of. Considering what I had against me, I rode the test pretty well once I figured out the geometry of the ring. David's canter is AMAZING; long, deep and smooth. It's so easy to sit pretty on him.

I've become good friends with David's owner, and we've down many activities together on my days off since we share similar interests in the shops and area history. After riding David, this lady gave me some news that is definitely very exciting. I can't give many details now since it's still in the works, but what I can say (tentatively at the moment) that I may be getting a very nice mare from her within the next year or so. Hopefully more news to come.

I've also learned that bathing a draft horse is a very refreshing experience. Yesterday was particularly miserable in the weather; it was one of those days where you feel slimy from the humidity and poor air quality. I went to rinse off Sadie, an old and retired Percheron mare who spends her days in the field. She loves her baths, and I found that holding the hose high over her (she's a big girl) let it mist on me. I ended up sitting under her and letting the water drip on me, and Sadie took a nap.

Trivia for the day: Did you know that hell hath no speed or intensity like that of two miniature donkeys who think you have food? I've faced down big and angry horses before without flinching, but for some reason, those gray fuzzballs aimed at my kneecaps made me shake...

I've also figured out that I am highly capable of A) catching a pony, holding onto it, catching another pony, holding onto those two, and catching the third B) sorting donkeys out from said ponies C) KEEPING said donkeys out from around said ponies D) and navigating 3 ponies out a gate, turning them around, closing the gate and keeping the donkeys in the field without letting the ponies eat a blade of grass... Phew. It was quite fun, nonetheless, walking up past the barn with a three-pony escort. It got a few smiles from onlookers.

I'm going to a dressage show tomorrow, with pictures to come. Later!

In This Episode of As the Barn Turns...

• Reggie discovers girls... one girl, in particular, and also pulls a bungee cord one too many times...
• Rosie returns to the "wild"...
• Jenn encounters medicine of the slung-from-a-horse-mouth-at-high-speed kind...
• Red the horse and Paco the dog have an intent heart to heart, and face to face...

Hehe, okay... the bungee cord one definitely deserves an explanation. Reggie, being the trickster he is, loves to try to escape his stall. Therefore, he has a bolt latch, a chain and two bungee cords on the bolt latch to slow him down a little. Throughout the course of the day, he manages to peel the various devices from the door, which are replaced (by me).

Well... Reggie got snapped in the nose by a bungee cord. I was actually happy to hear my boss say that Reggie had a bloody nose; I knew what it was from instantly. Sure enough, there was a loose bungee cord with a little piece of horse-nose flesh on it, and Reggie was in the corner of his stall pouting. After this, I led him out into the aisle to brush him. He glanced across the aisle to another stall, and there was...

**ROSIE!** (cue the butterflies and music) His head and ears snapped up and forward instantly, and he started dancing in the aisle, Heeeeeey cutie! Well, fate happened to put the two of them in adjoining paddocks for the night, and the lovebirds were last seen kissing through the fence (and very carefully avoiding the hot tape...) Much to Reggie's disappointment, Rosie's medicating period had ended, and therefore, she rejoined her buddies in the back pasture. But I'm sure they will see each other once in a while...

The high speed medicine requires no explanation.

And Paco got lively today and decided to go horse chasing. Red thought that was a lovely idea (NOT!) and promptly escorted the dog under the fence (at very high speed).

Oh, the animals...

Deja Vu

The barn has become more "mine" the past week as a routine has developed. Several horses decided to either get sick, hurt or lame recently, and now the feeding routine has what feels like a thousand new medications. Taking a day off is almost more work than not, with having to explain all the meds.

"Rosie gets these two eye ointments four times a day, starting with the morning feeding, then at lunch, then midafternoon, then the evening feeding. Tyrone's Robaxin got upped to 20 tablets twice a day, but you have to mix it like this to make sure the syringe plunger can get it all out. Then, Aries is still on bute, but down to one gram. Sadie gets the bute too, but three grams (I stick it in her mouth when she goes for her food). After all that, Aries needs to be handwalked for twenty minutes, but only in the indoor ring..."

Yeah. After handling those developments over the course of a day, I feel a whole lot more confident handling a barn and the fluctuating habits of the four-hooved individuals within. But, I can't get that confused with arrogance.

After I'd been here a few days, had the barn to myself and was riding horses for my boss, I found myself chatting with one of the trainers, who was keeping a watchful eye on a small student of hers as she tacked up a pony for her lesson. I knew I needed to ride Tyrone, so I asked the trainer if it'd be a problem if I rode during her lesson. She asked who I was riding and I smiled and replied, "Mr. T here."

Behind the trainer, the girl whirled her head around to stare at me, her eyes big. I smiled back at her, wondering what that had been about. Then I had a little bit of a flashback, or deja vu, if you will, that settled in when I was first riding and in awe of those who got to ride the good horses... the fancy jumpers, the owners horses, etc. I'd been there, and now I stood (and rode) where I'd seen those other girls. And now, that little student was where I had been.

Now for the not becoming arrogant part... I knew that Tyrone and my boss were a great combination. I also knew that they had done some serious showing and won a lot. But I had not known... that she and Tyrone were National Hunter Champions a few years ago. It was mentioned to me casually, and my heart kinda hit my stomach, but in a good way. I've been riding a National Hunter Champion horse for the past three weeks, and they're not rides I've had to beg.

"Tyrone needs to be exercised, and you have really good soft hands, so how about flatting him twice a week or so?"

While this new info doesn't change my role around here, it's certainly a compliment that humbles and makes me thank God twice more whenever I get on Tyrone.

On a lighter note, we harassed Reggie in his paddock with the remote control car. Next time, I promise we will have the video camera.

Main Question of the Day...

How many poor decisions must Reggie make before getting a clue?

Too many, would be my answer at the moment. Don't get me wrong, I really like Reggie overall, but he has "personal space" issues when someone comes in his stall. He thought he had me pegged when I was picking out his stall; I turned with a forkfull of horsey "presents" and he took the opportunity to bite my rear. Fortunately for me, full hands does not equal no punishment. He got a foot in the ribs and a roar, and he meekly retreated to a corner to pout through the surprised look on his face. She grew another arm instantly...? This horse is also starting to understand my very silent and very serious communication... The Look. He also gets now that if he receives The Look along with Crossed Arms, he'd better shut up before he ends up as a bedspread, fringe and all.

Also, the night before, Reggie decided that he thought I hadn't put enough hay in his stall and snaked his (not so little) head over his window at me, ears pinned and teeth bared. It was almost 10 PM, and I was in NO moon to tolerate his face making. I whirled around, waving my arms and yelled "Booga booga booga!" He snatched himself back so fast he smacked himself in the back of the head on the window frame, then bounced his nose around a couple times trying to turn around before his head had fully withdrawn... silly pony.

To sum up my past couple of days, see this little prayer of the Barngirl.

Dear Lord,

Thank you that Rosie's eye hasn't gotten infected yet, and that she's being good about having me stick ointment in it four times a day. Thank you that Aries didn't carry me more than ten feet when he decided that whirling around and trotting off was a good idea while I was wrapped around his head giving him medicine. Thank you that we found David's shoe, and please help us to find Red's shoe. Thank you that Tyrone only got one mouthful of medicine dribbled on my baseball cap before I noticed. Thank you that only four bales of hay fell on me. Thank you that the big arthritic draft mare didn't catch me up when she stumbled and tripped on the hill. Thank you that the vet was only an hour late, and that we could find a second farrier quickly so a student could actually have her lesson tonight. Thank you that one of our trainers didn't need stitches, and that we've only had four storms so far this week. Please don't let the coffee grinder spit Robaxin tablet pieces on me ever again; it tastes bad, and tell the barn cat that dead mice do not belong in the sink in the tack room.

Thank you that I'm still in one piece, and managing triage in an invalid yard of horses makes me happy, because that's how horses go and I have to convince myself that I like giving medicine four times a day for thirty days.

Funnies, New Toys and Poor Decisions

Dear audience, the past few days have passed with a good amount of humor. Allow me to share...

• I rode David again, and this time, his owner made me put the stirrups down to dressage length, which is almost standing length, as opposed to the higher-kneed heels down hunter/jumper position, so my ride instantly felt different, but I managed to pick up the steering faster this time and didn't put the poor horse into any fences this time. Then I was asked to trot him, so I did and then Holy cow! My stirrups disappeared! I'm so unused to having to literally stand and reach down for my stirrups that they were flapping around loose and I was posting completely off my thighs, who did have a few things to say about that particular exercise. However, I was told I had a very good position overall, and that I'll get used to the stirrup length eventually... After that, we went to watch a very good dressage instructor and trainer ride this phantabulously beaurgous mare, who moved like a ballerina. Pictures to come...
• I also am still riding Tyrone, and happily enjoying riding a made horse. On Friday, to fit in his ride time, I rode with another lesson going on in the ring, and the instructor had laid down poles on the ground for an exercise, so Tyrone and I also used the poles to practice strides and such. All the time, lazy Tyrone thunked his hooves over the poles, completely bored when he's used to jumping 3 feet. A little while later, the poles were moved, and I askd Tyrone to canter around while I got into my two-point (jumping) position to stretch and let him move forward. We came up to where the poles had been, and Tyrone's ears suddenly perked up and his body bunched and came forward. I thought This horse thinks he's going to a jump! What gives? I then realized that he had zeroed in on the depression in the sand where the pole had been, and he jumped it! The trainer got a laugh out of it. Seriously, Tyrone... you thump hooves over poles, then jump the depression in the sand... really? Apparently.... yeah, really.
• One of the ponies being used in a lesson dumped his rider and decided that was a good time to start tearing around the ring, bumping into other horses and generally creating havoc. He proceeded to evade capture and raced around, kicking his heels and saying Look at meeee! I'm Spirit, wild stallion! Sorry to tell you, Penfield, but you're a gelding...
• Reggie is the baby of the bunch here; a handsome 2 y/o Hanoverian gelding who is very curious and playful. He has to have a gajillion locks, clasps and other instruments of enclosure on his stall doors, or he will get out and find something to play with. Well, he became quite fascinated watching a remote control car being directed by a sibling of one of the lesson kids. Reggie bobbed his head, snorted, turned in his stall, watched the car, tried to lunge out after it, turned and snorted again. The horse was ready to go out the window after the car. We told the boy to bring the car over to his stall. The "Raminator" truck proceeded to zoom at Reggie, who took it as a full frontal attack and threw a spaz in his tall, still bobbing his head and snorting and growling at the car. The truck retreated, and again Reggied tried to follow it out the window. At this point, my bosses husband and I are rolling in the aisle with laughter, and are already making plans that involve Reggie, a remote control car, a paddock and a video camera...

So I found myself quite filthy yesterday after scrubbing out water troughs, and I glittered with the Georgia red dirt, and now have the next hottest toy doll to hit the market in mind...

It's Barn Diva Barbie! This new and restructured doll is NOT your typical runway Barbie... no, this little lady has a tan and thighs of steel instead of a chest! She comes complete with work jeans and permanent helmet hair! Want to really spice her up? Take out the roll-on applicator and give her some smears of terra cotta! To complete the look, shake a little glitter on her to make her sparkle and shine as Barn Diva Barbie wows the entire stable with her feeding regime and colt-corraling prowess! As a final touch, dip her paddock boots in warm water, and watch them turn from black to the same terra cotta red! Wow, this girl has really been through the barn!

... okay, maybe not such a hit, but it's rather hilarious from my point of view. Most of that is pretty true, especially the colt-corraling part... Reggie hasn't learned to share his stall space with people very well yet, and you can imagine how well that went over with me when he tried to shoulder me out of his stall the other day. He picked a bad moment; I had a manure fork in my hands. A lesson student swore she ran into the barn because she heard someone roaring and instead found Reggie thinking very carefully about edging towards me and eyeing the fork :)

Sincerely, Jenn, the barn girl waiting for the next horse to make a poor decision...

Boys in Black

Summary of the weekend thusfar:

• I've continued to ride Tyrone and enjoy him, even though he can be quite lazy :)
• I finally got a ride on David, the Friesian. I had to completely relearn steering and leg aids for him since he's a dressage horse, so after about 10 minutes of running into a fence and turning him the wrong way, I got it sorted out, his owner smiled and told me to have fun and went to go clean a saddle. Needless to say, that was a compliment. His owner told me later that I did well, and she wants me to ride him more for my benefit. Yay!
• Along with that last point, David's owner has offered to take me to see the dressage trainer she sees a few times a month. She named him, and my eyes got big; I recognized the name. He's the only 4th Level dressage trainer in the southeast, and I've heard about him, so I'm very excited to go watch him teach. She's also teaching me how to body clip a horse.
• For a moment of humor... one of the ponies this evening tried to jump me while I carried his feed out to his pan for dinner. You can imagine how that well that went over with me. He came at me teeth bared and ears pinned; it was a funny sight, considering how his ears come to about my head. Well, there was nothing between him and the feed, save my fragile little hand *snort, giggle*, so I emptied the ammo in my other hand; a feed bucket. The plastic warped around his head and ears, then bounced off his neck and hit his rear. Double whammy! That little idiot jumped away, snorting with his eyes wide and white. You can bet he waited VERY politely for me to take my time pouring his feed into his pan and calmly walking away. He knows better than to pull that kind of behavior with ANYONE, especially since little kids are the one that do a lot of his handling. So, Penfield saw the end of the world for about five seconds.

To defend that kind of reaction... watch an alpha mare correct a youngster in a herd someday. There is no polite "Oh, you didn't mean to run into me...". That mare's reaction is swing around, teeth bared with a BAD-IDEA-GET-AWAY-RIGHT-NOW look on her face. That's how horse hierarchies work, so that's how it works when I step into a field of horses. When I'm not there, they can sort out their pecking order. But when I come into the field, stall or whatever, authority shifts to me by default. So, the offender sees the sky fall for a very short period of time, lesson learned (hopefully).

That's all for now.